Teenage kicks or just a teenage circus?
by s11235
Summary: Modern AU based on the Channel 4 series 'The Inbetweeners.' Merlin is the new kid and has decided that Arthur, Gwaine and Will i.e. Sir William from 2.02 - the three least popular guys at Camelot High- are going to be his new best friends.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: And so it is here!- Finally! I have been working on this idea for so long but just have not got round to sorting it out- RL keeps getting in the way. But now the xmas hols are upon me, I have more time to write :D. This is a bizarre concept, I was in two minds about writing it but the epic prydwen magic convinced me to commit to my crazy idea. And then the wonderful vaberella was forced to help me reign in my unusual take on grammar :P. Hope you enjoy the final product and I have no idea how many chapters this will end up being- my inspiration- or lack of it will decide :D**  
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The world has just ended- seriously. My Dad has just walked out on my Mum and she came up with the brilliant plan of moving to London- and not the nice bit either. So she dragged me out of my nice school, you know, the ones where you wear ties and blazers and everyone doesn't stare at you like they want to shove your head down the toilet. But it's closer to Mum's work and of course, it's cheaper than living in a pleasant village like Ealdor. So this is why on the third of September I am standing in the drizzle in front of the wire mesh fences of Camelot High wondering what on earth I did which could warrant such a punishment.

I gulp and head over to a group of sixth formers sitting at a bench.

'Hi,' I say with a wide grin 'I'm Merlin, nice to meet you.'

I offer one of the boys my hand. He just stares at it, then looks up at my face, 'are you queer?'

'I'm sorry?'

'Do you like cock?' he says slowly, like he's trying wrangle the answer to a very simple question out of a particularly backward six year old.

'Like Coq au vin?' I suggest tentatively.

'Sure Dumbo'

'I do like it yes' I say, rather nonplussed.

'That is so gay'

'No' I say confused, 'actually it's French'

He snorts and the rest of the group laugh. Then the bell goes and I wonder exactly what kind of institution I've just walked into.

I stand in front of the class, 'this' Mr Pendragon says, 'is our new student.'

He looks almost bored by the proceedings.

'Hi, my name is Merlin,' I say, giving the group a jaunty wave.

The girls in the front row don't even bother to stop talking about the article on page three of OK! that they've been wittering* about for the last ten minutes. A boy at the back mutters something like 'dickhead' and his mates laugh as if it's the funniest thing in the world. Most of the class roll their eyes or ignore me entirely.

'Arthur!' Mr Pendragon snaps, 'it is your job to show Emrys here around.'

'What?' a blonde boy- with far too much gel in his hair- asks indignantly.

'You heard me.'

'You have got to be kidding,' he mutters mutinously, slipping lower in his chair.

'Well go and sit down,' Mr Pendragon barks and I scurry over to the boy called Arthur.

'I'm Merlin' I say sitting down beside Arthur.

'Yeah I heard,' he snaps back, rocking back on his chair and not looking at me.

'So what class do you have next?'

'History.'

'Oh brilliant, I have History too.'

'So?' he asks with an arched eyebrow.

'You can show me how to get there.'

'But that would mean walking _with _you,' he says, his eyes wide.

'Yes.'

He sniggers, 'yeah, and that's going to happen.'

'I'm sorry?'

'I wouldn't be seen dead with a guy wearing that,' Arthur says disdainfully, pointing at my neckerchief. Ok, so every other guy was wearing jeans or trackies and a t-shirt, but it was a birthday present from my Mum- she said it made me look sophisticated- it's vintage too apparently.

I echo her sentiments.

Arthur just stares at me like I'm a creature from another planet, though to be honest sophistication was bound to be an alien concept to a boy surrounded by kids caked in Reebok and Lonsdale.

'You are a massive tit,' a boy in the row in front row says, turning around in his seat to gawk at me gormlessly, his mouth a little open.

'Thank you for your input,' I say.

'No problem,' he guffaws like a loon and promptly turns to face the front once more to continue his scintillating discussion with his neighbour about whether a deep fried mars bar was better than deep fried ice cream.

'Just take the bloody scarf off,' Arthur mutters, scratching the nape of his neck and avoiding looking at me.

'Fine but if the draught in here gives me pneumonia I am holding you responsible.'

'Brilliant,' he replies with seeping sarcasm.

When registration ends I head off to History with my new friend.

'So can I call you Art?'

'No,' he scowls.

'Can I call you Artie?'

'No,' he says as the lines on his forehead deepen.

'What can I call you?'

'How about nothing?'

'So how would you know I was talking to you?'

'I wouldn't,' he shrugs.

'Isn't that a problem?'

'Think about cravat kid, is it?' he says, tapping his temple, 'Is it really?' and with this quandary hanging in the air, my new friend vanishes into the throng of students heading to class, and I still have no idea where the History department is.

'I swear she gets even more beautiful every time I see her,' Arthur is saying as I bound up behind him.

'What the hell do you think you're doing?' he asks heatedly as I join him and a friend who are sitting on one of the sofas in the common room.

'Well as its break I thought I would use the time to socialise with my peers,' I say brightly, sitting down next to Arthur.

'You seriously are a massive tit,' Arthur's friend states at the exact moment I realise that I recognise the shaggy brown hair and blank expression from registration. Then the boy's laughing again, as if he has just said something truly hilarious.

'Is that all he says?' I ask, addressing Arthur.

'Pretty much' he shrugs, 'but Will's right, you are a tit,' he says reasonably.

'Thanks very much.'

'No problem,' Arthur almost smiles.

'Can I ask who you were talking about just then?'

'No,' Arthur replies, all traces of a smile gone now.

'But talking about girls is a typical form of male bonding,' I say seriously.

'Exactly.'

'So…'

'Hey guys' a boy- who I guess you would say is handsome- says striding over to us, a broad grin on his face, 'you'll never guess what…'

'What Gwaine?' Arthur asks, not even bothering to feign interest.

'I just spent Geography chatting up Kylie. I think she really likes me. I could be in there. I mean, we really _connected, _you know?' he says with wide eyes as he slumps onto the sofa.

'Who's Kylie?' the boy who keeps calling me a tit asks.

'The really hot blonde from Miss Tompkins' form,' he replies, bobbing his head is a self-satisfied way.

'Didn't you try and get off with her best friend last Saturday?' Arthur interjects.

'How am I supposed to know?' he responds with an uninterested shrug.

'Because-' Arthur begins but Gwaine's already slid off the sofa and is approaching a slim brunette.

'Hi there' he says.

'Hi' she replies tentatively, her eyes darting from left to right as if looking for the nearest emergency exit.

'I'm sorry but I just had to come over here' Gwaine says, clearly oblivious to the girl's discomfort.

She looks at him, half confused, half nervous.

'I had to tell you that you have the most amazing eyes I've ever seen'

'I have a boyfriend.'

'The course of true love never did run smooth.'

'Did you just quote Shakespeare at me?'

'What would be the best answer at this point?' he asks, leaning into her, listening intently for the answer.

'You are such a loser.'

'Well I could never say no to pity sex with someone who looks like you,' he grins, touching her arm.

She pushes past him muttering 'asshole.'

'Darling, call me?' he shouts hopefully after her.

The entire common room turns to look at him with a bored distain which suggests that this behaviour is not out of the ordinary.

He slopes back over to us under the collective glare of half the Sixth Form.

'How'd it go?' Will asks, his mouth open in expectation. I only just manage to resist the urge to roll my eyes.

'She'll call me,' Gwaine says confidently, 'girls can't resist the accent.'

'Well the girls at this school must have remarkable will power,' Arthur replies.

'_Will_ power,' Will sniggers.

'No,' Arthur grimaces, 'just no Will.'

I try to understand what's going on and fail miserably, but maybe I'm better off that way.

Just then a tall guy with dark hair strolls in, by the set of his shoulders you can tell he clearly thinks he owns whatever room he happens to be in. And he comes over to us.

'Hi, I'm Merlin, I'm new-'

'Pendragon I want a word,' he says.

I look about me confused, and as I suspected, not seeing Mr Pendragon anywhere, I turn back to the brutish boy in front of me.

'What do you want Alvarr?' Arthur says, in a voice full of bravado, getting slowly to his feet. I looked between Arthur and Alvarr and back again, rather lost.

'Your Daddy stuck me in bloody detention.'

Oh, now it made sense.

'I'm sorry mate, but that's not really anything to do with me,' Arthur replies with a rather more confident air than most people would have adopted- given the circumstances.

'Did you actually just call me mate?' Alvarr asks menacingly, closing the remaining distance between him and Arthur.

'Er, no, I mean yes, I don't know,' Arthur says as he backs into the sofa and nearly falls over, 'sorry,' he offers as a last resort as the older boy bares down on him.

'Not half as sorry as you are gunna be in a minute Pendragon,' Alvarr says, grabbing Arthur by the collar of his t-shirt.

'Alvarr just let go of him,' a tall girl with raven hair says blithely as she glides into the room.

He looks as if he's seriously considering ignoring her for a moment but then he releases Arthur and stalks over to his locker.

'Thanks Morgana,' Arthur just manages to choke.

'Don't thank me, I only stopped him because his shirt is new, it was a present from me and I really don't want him accessorising it with your blood. Any other time and he's free to punch the living daylights of whoever he likes,' she says coolly.

'Right,' Arthur gulps and Morgana follows Alvarr over to the lockers and promptly begins snogging him.

Arthur eyes the spectacle with a look of disgust which I am sure could have rivalled my expression when I had opened my locker to find egg mayonnaise smeared all over my new exercise books.

'Alvarr doesn't like you much, does he Arthur?' Will observes, looking, as always, a little spaced out.

'Are you the next frickin' Miss Marple or something?' Arthur snaps.

'So, can I take it from that, that this has happened before?' I ask as Will looks at Arthur, bemused, the cogs of his brain turning slower than the magic roundabout.

'That is none of your bloody business,' Arthur bites back at me.

'Last time you lost half of your front tooth,' Will says seriously.

'Shut up Will' Arthur snarls.

'Cause his Dad pisses Alvarr off,' Will explains without any request for embellishment.

'Just shut the hell up Will!'

'So why don't you just tell _him_ what's going on?' I say, turning to Arthur.

'Who?'

'Your Dad?' I ask exasperatedly.

Arthur looks at me as if I ought to be locked up in some psychiatric facility while the other two boys just double up with laughter. After several moments Gwaine looks up, 'new kid is actually serious.'

'Yes I am.'

'As far as Mr Pendragon is concerned Arthur's little run-ins with Alvarr are character building, and he hastens to remind him on a regular basis that if he wasn't so pathetic in the first place he wouldn't get beaten up at all,' he says, still half laughing, before Arthur delivers a swift blow to Gwaine's arm, which promptly shuts him up.

'That's terrible,' I say sincerely to Arthur.

'Just fuck off, I don't want your pity'

I don't fuck off, I continue to sit there with them ignoring me until it's the end of break and we head our separate ways for class. In my experience if you hang around people long enough they will eventually end up being your friends, not necessarily because they suddenly notice all your redeeming qualities but because they get tired and can't be bothered to resist it. Besides, it isn't like I'm aiming particularly high with this bunch of outcasts.

When I return to the common room at lunch, the three boys are there, sitting on some blue plastic chairs because Alvarr and his friends have decided they want the sofas. I don't ask, I just pull up a plastic chair too.

'Can't stay long, there is a meeting about the Christmas school production, and I was wondering if any of you would like to join me?'

Three pairs of eyes widen at this suggestion, or maybe just two, because Arthur and Gwaine look surprised at the idea but Will just looks like his about to sneeze.

'It will be good fun,' I assure them, 'they're doing a Shakespeare play, not sure which one yet.'

'No.'

'No.'

'Er, what's going on?' Will asks.

'You guys are just going to sit here doing nothing- you might as well come,' I reason.

'Sitting here sounds like a good plan,' Arthur says, with a defiant look in his eye.

'Motion seconded,' Gwaine adds with a grin.

'What's going on?' Will asks looking between us, totally bemused.

'Fine,' I say, getting to my feet, 'I'll see you guys later' and then adding, 'don't have _too _much fun without me.'

The meeting was not exactly what could be called a success. At my last school a play like this would have attracted dozens of budding thespians. As it was, when I arrived there were six Year Seven girls, an old man, who looked rather too old to still be teaching, and perhaps to even be alive, and one other, rather frantic looking, Year Twelve.

'Hey,' she said distractedly, her honey-coloured skin a little flushed, 'I'm Guinevere, but everyone calls me Gwen.'

She offered me her hand. I shook it.

'And you must be new, I haven't seen you round here before.'

I nod, 'I'm Merlin, but everyone calls me new kid, or cravat kid, or Dumbo, or…'

She giggled, 'I won't ask, but it's nice to meet you.'

'Is this it?' I asked gesturing at the very empty school hall.

'I sent e-mails out and put notes in all the registers,' she sighed.

'Maybe it's just because it's the first day of term, maybe no one's checked their e-mails yet, and Mr Pendragon must have forgotten to read out the notice in registration'- this was lie, he had read it out and people had jeered and laughed, or ignored it entirely- much the same as their reaction to me, to be honest- but I thought it best not to tell Gwen that. She was the first genuinely nice person I had met and I just wanted to cheer her up.

'Maybe, it was a stupid idea to have the meeting today, I just wanted to get started this week, and this is the only lunchtime this week Professor Gaius could manage.'

'It wasn't stupid,' I assured her, 'it was just perhaps a little optimistic.'

She laughed again, a very infectious kind of laugh.

'Oh well, we'll just have to come back next week, next Monday alright for everyone? Professor Gaius?'

He woke from his daze, 'of course Gwen.'

And the Year Sevens nodded enthusiastically.

'If you can convince anyone else to come along too, that would be brilliant.'

They nod again.

'Thanks so much for coming along Merlin, it's nice to know I'm not the only person nerdy enough to be into Shakespeare,' then she blushes, 'I'm sorry, that wasn't supposed to come out like that, I mean I don't think you're a nerd or anything…' she bit her lip, 'sorry.'

'No worries,' I grin at her.

'Professor Gaius, I hope the hospital appointment goes ok.'

'Thank you Gwen,' he beamed back at her.

'Now let's head back to the Common Room, I'm starving,' she said giving me a warm smile.

People look up as we enter the room. Some of them call out to her, some of them throw disdainful glances in my direction and one of them glares at me. It's Arthur.

'What the hell?' he mouths furiously at me.

Seeing this, Gwen raises her eyebrows and says, 'I guess I'll leave you to it.' Then she shoots me a wide smile, 'it was great to meet you Merlin.'

I head over to Arthur who is now evilling me* with even greater intensity.

'What the hell do you think you are doing?' he asks, his voice high and thin.

'Talking to Gwen.'

'No, you were talking to friggin' Guinevere Leodegrance, the most popular girl in school.'

'Well she was really nice.'

'Of course she was nice- she's _Guinevere._'

'Ok.'

'Why were _you _talking to _her_?'

'Because I was the only member of the Sixth Form to have any taste.'

'Did you kiss her?' he demands out of the blue, his lips pursed so tightly they form a single straight line.

'No,' I say, confused, 'I just went to the Shakespeare play meeting.'

'No one told me Gwen was going to be there.'

'She's organising it.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' he demands with such aggression that I'm half tempted to ask him when the rest of the Spanish Inquisition will be turning up. But something about the sudden darkness of his eyes stops me.

'Because I didn't know until she told me, it wasn't on the e-mail or the notice that she was in charge,' I explain reasonably.

'She should have put her name on it, then everyone would have turned up,' Gwaine says, totally unfazed by the interrogation I was suffering.

'Why?' I ask Gwaine, but Arthur answers me.

'Because Gwen is the most popular girl in school, every other girl wants to be her friend and all of the guys-'

'-wanna get in her knickers,' Gwaine finished, cutting across Arthur.

'I don't,' I state simply, 'she's nice and everything, but she's just not my type.'

Three pairs of eyes widen in shock.

'Are you gay?'

'Why does everyone keeping asking me that?' I ask, feeling slightly defensive.

'Cause Gwen's hot,' Will says, who had clearly been listening in on our conversation though he still looks as if he is half asleep, his dark mop of hair rumpled, his blue-green gaze blurred.

'Those eyes, that smile, that ass and don't even get me started on her boobs-' Gwaine says before Arthur throws a heavy textbook at his friend's head.

'Don't talk about her like that,' he stammers, his cheeks red, 'it's disrespectful.'

'Ok Germaine Greer,' Gwaine laughs, raising his hands in mock defence.

'Arthur likes Gwen,' Will informs me, behind his hand, in what he clearly believed is a confidential manner.

'I do not,' Arthur says, biting down on each word and blushing furiously.

'No, he luuurrrvves her,' Gwaine smirks, lolling back in his chair, a mischievous grin on his face.

Arthur is about launch himself at Gwaine when the sound of a female voice pins them down, 'hi, Merlin, so these must be your friends,' Gwen says sweetly.

The three boys' heads snap round to look at her though Arthur swiftly returns to staring daggers at Gwaine, something that doesn't go unnoticed by Gwen, 'sorry, I've interrupted something, I'll come back later,' she mutters, evidently a little embarrassed.

'No, stay, it's nothing that can't wait until later,' I reply, looking meaningful at both boys and hoping they will behave themselves for the time being.

'Well, I'm sure Merlin must have told you about the School Play,' Gwen says brightly 'and I know it's really cheeky but I desperately need some guys. I convinced a load of the girls to come along next week, but the boys are playing hard to get, so it would be so great if you lot could come along. It'll be fun, I promise. And all the proceeds go to charity. What'd you say?' she smiles warmly around at us.

'Sure,' Will says with his ever gormless smile as he scratches his bird's nest of hair.

'And you're sure there will be loads of girls there?' Gwaine asks, his eyes a little narrowed.

'Er yeah,' Gwen replies, puzzled.

'I'm in,' he says with such enthusiasm it takes me a moment to realise he's not joking.

There is a pause as they all turn to look at Arthur.

'Arthur?' Gwen says with a beautiful smile, 'you up for it?'

'How'd you know my name?' he asks, evidently rather thrown.

'You were in my History class back in… Year Seven I think. We did that project on Medieval Myth and Legend together and you wouldn't talk to me for two days because I told you dragons weren't real,' she laughs.

Arthur just stares at her blankly.

'Don't you remember?'

'Nah, I mean it's not like it was important or anything,' he says, his tone and the way he is studying the cuticles on his left hand suggesting he is bored of her already.

'I didn't say it was,' she replies, looking a little taken aback by this less than warm reception.

'Whatever.'

'Look, if you don't want to come to the meeting, don't,' she snaps, her confusion gone, replaced by a fiery indignation.

'Did I say that?' Arthur drawls, looking up at her properly for the first time, then swiftly looking away again.

'So you're coming?' she asks, even managing a smile in the face of his apparent apathy.

'I dunno, it's not really my scene.'

'You do English Literature, don't you?'

'Yes, but this is just, no offence, a bit nerdy for me.'

'And didn't you win the fantasy football league last year?' she says, half serious, half teasing.

He blushes, but keeps his mouth firmly shut as he scowls at a point somewhere over Gwen's left shoulder.

'Seriously Arthur I don't care if you come or not, I just thought it might be nice for you to be included for once.'

'What you thought you'd do your bit for charity, what is it, liberate a loser month?' he bites back.

'What the hell is your problem?' Gwen explains, at a complete loss and at the end of her tether.

When Arthur doesn't reply, she turns to the rest of us, her normal warm expression replacing her scowl instantly, 'I'll see you guys Monday lunch, ok?'

We nod.

The minute she's gone I turn on Arthur.

'What the bloody hell was that?'

'I was playing it cool,' Arthur snaps defensively.

'Ah, that makes sense,' Will says.

'No it doesn't,' I snap back.

'Er, okay,' Will replies looking totally lost.

'Some girls like it when you pretend you're not interested,' Gwaine says knowledgably, 'I'm betting Gwen is one of those girls.'

'Ok even if Gwen is one of those girls, and I don't think she is, she might like it if you act uninterested but not when you act like a massive tool.'

Arthur throws a mutinous look my way in response.

'Don't worry mate,' Gwaine says, patting his friend on the shoulder, 'she loved it.'

'You think so?' Arthur asks with a crooked, goofy smile.

'Yeah, she's totally hot for you, treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen and all that.'

I roll my eyes, just about to ask Gwaine how he is qualified to pass judgement on such matters. But the bell goes before I can get the question out.

I return to a rapidly emptying Common Room at the end of the school day after staying behind in Maths to ask why on earth we had not been set any homework.

I grab my stuff and leave. As I head out of the main doors I notice Arthur, Gwaine and Will making their way out of the gates. I dash across the carpark after them. And reach them just in time to hear, '…so meet at eight then?'

'Where are you going?'

'Nowhere,' Arthur shrugs.

'Well that can't be true, you just said-'I attempt to reason with him.

'We're going to the pub,' Will says dazedly.

'Thanks for that Will,' Arthur groans.

'No problem,' Will beams, totally having missed the sarcasm.

'I could invite Gwen and her friends along,' I suggest offhandedly.

'No you couldn't,' Arthur says derisively.

'I have her number, I could just text her.'

'You have _Gwen's _number?' he asks incredulously, his eyes wide, his expression would have been apt if I'd just told him he'd won the Euro Lottery rollover, 'as in _Guinevere's_?'

'Uhuh.'

'Fine,' he says with feigned nonchalance, the ghost of a smile still playing around his thin lips, 'you can come, tell her to get to the Fox and Hound for eight.'

'Ok,' I say beaming as I walk beside them.

See, all it takes is perseverance and you will make friends, whether your new friends like it or not. I was now a member of the most loserish quartet in the school. There was Arthur, who might have actually had a shot here if it wasn't for the fact that his Dad is head of Sixth Form, but who wears far too much hair gel and thinks the way to get a girl to like you is to be a massive tool. And Gwaine who seems to genuinely think he can charm the birds out of the trees but in actual fact only has the unique ability to trigger the upchuck reflex of any female within a three mile radius. And then there was Will-

'I punched a fish once.'

'Right, thanks for that Will' Arthur says.

And then there was Will…

A/N: The lovely vaberella thought I needed to explain some of my idiosyncratic approaches to language...  
Wittering*- Meaning chatting inanely and at length (sometimes I'm too British for my own good :P)  
Evilling me*- British slang term for glaring at some or 'giving them the evil eye'

Hope you enjoyed my first foray back into fic for a long while


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This comes to you totally unbeta'd but otherwise this post wouldn't have come until well after christmas- so you have to put up with my grammar and 'imaginative' take on the english language I'm afraid :P.

'She's not coming,' Arthur says for the eighth time since we'd arrived as he drummed his fingers on the table.

'She is. She said so, so she is,' I reply reasonably.

'Why would Guinevere wanna hang out with losers like us?'

'Maybe she just couldn't stay away Arthur,' Gwaine says sagely, 'the chemistry between you two is undeniable.'

'You really think so?' Arthur says, trying to hide his grin, his cheeks a little pink as I just roll my eyes.

'No,' Will says, looking a little perplexed, 'I thought you just piss her off,' he adds, articulating my own thoughts perfectly.

'What makes you say that?' Arthur demands, instantly riled.

'That's what Merlin told me.'

I screw up my face in response.

'Merlin told you?' Arthur says, turning in his seat to glower at me. He looks ready to launch himself over the table but then-

'Hi Merlin,' Gwen beams down at me, 'hi Gwaine, hi Will,' she forces a tight-lipped smile, 'Arthur.'

'Hey,' we chorus back brightly, all except for Arthur who is looking broodingly at his beer mat.

'Merlin,' she says, turning to the tall dark haired girl from earlier, 'I don't know if you two have met, this is Morgana.'

'Hi' I mumble, for some reason not quite able to meet Morgana's blue-grey eyes.

'Oh I see you didn't bring Alvarr along, thanks for that,' Arthur snaps sarcastically.

I notice a nerve twitch in Gwen's cheek at the mention of Alvarr's name.

'No, funnily enough he had better things to do and he didn't have Gwen emotionally blackmailing him to come along.'

'Morgana,' Gwen hisses disapprovingly.

'You wanted me here, I'm here, and if I'm going to stay I'll be needing a stiff drink,' she says as she sidles up to the barman.

'I'm sorry,' Gwen mouths at us as she follows her friend.

'I don't get it,' I say, once they are both out of earshot, 'why is someone as kind as Gwen hanging out with someone like Morgana?'

Arthur opens his mouth to respond, looking angry, but Gwaine beats him to it, 'because Gwen and Morgana have been best friends since their first day in Year Seven and Gwen's not the sort of person who just gives up on someone because they've become mega psycho bitch of the century-'

'Hey,' Arthur objects, 'that is my step-sister you're talking about.'

My jaw draws, 'what?' I just manage to stammer.

'Mr Pendragon married Morgana's mum when we were in Year Ten wasn't it?'

Arthur nods.

'Morgana's mum was head of the PTA- massive scandal wasn't it?'

Arthur shrugs.

'Then Morgana's mum died in a road traffic accident a year ago and she's been a bit unhinged ever since,' Gwaine states plainly.

'Bloody hell,' I curse, shocked, 'poor Morgana.'

'Shit happens,' Gwaine says unsympathetically, though shares a significant look with Arthur.

I'm just about to ask what it is I'm missing when Morgana and Gwen return with drinks.

My hand goes to my wallet as Gwen passes me a pint of Strongbow, 'first round's on me,' Gwen smiles sweetly, 'you can return the favour later.'

'Thanks,' I reply, Gwaine and Will reiterating my sentiments as they receive a glass each in turn.

'Are you alright Arthur?' Gwen asks as he scowls at the glass she has just placed before him.

'It's fine,' he says bolshily, 'but it would have been nice for you to have at least asked what I wanted.'

She looks at him stunned, her mouth slightly open, 'right' she says blankly, 'sorry.'

The group falls into an awkward silence, each one of us studying the drink before us as if it might just be the most fascinating thing on the planet.

A few minutes pass.

'I'm calling in reinforcements,' Morgana announces, whipping out her blackberry.

'Elena and Sophie already said they couldn't make it on such short notice,' Gwen explains.

'I'm not talking about them; I'm talking about the entire football team.'

'They won't be interested,' Gwen reasons with a shrug.

'Oh, really?' Morgana says, arching an eyebrow. 'So you're saying that if I drop a line to Lance stating that you would really appreciate it if he and the guys came to join us, he wouldn't drop everything to route march his whole team and his cute little butt over here as fast as possible?'

I notice Arthur's face harden while Gwen's turn a delicate shade of pink.

'He has better things to do than sitting around waiting for an invitation from me,' Gwen insists.

'You're totally right he does have better things to do but he's too busy pining over you to do any of them,' Morgana retorts with a smirk, 'so he might as well come join us.'

'Morgana-' Gwen begins to protest just as Morgana's phone makes a satisfied beeping sound.

'What was that?' Arthur asks warily.

'Lance. He and the boys will be here in ten,' Morgana says with a smirk.

'Brilliant,' Arthur and Gwen breathe in unison.

'Maybe you guys should leave before they get here,' Morgana suggests offhandedly.

Arthur opened his mouth angrily, but Gwen beat him to it, 'Morgana!'

'What?' she replied coolly, studying her perfectly manicured nails.

'This was Merlin's idea, you shouldn't even have invited anyone else without asking him if it was okay.'

'Fine, Merlin can stay,' Morgana shrugs, 'but does my step-brother have to?'

Again Arthur opens his mouth to respond and again Gwen gets there first, 'of course Arthur can stay.'

I could see Arthur barely holding back an awe-filled 'really?'

'-he's Merlin's friend' Gwen continues.

Arthur's face falls momentarily before his jaw tightens and he snaps, 'Merlin is not my friend.'

'Oh' is Gwen's only response.

'But I'm staying anyway' Arthur says before chugging down the rest of his cider and folding his arms mutinously.

'Ok,' Gwen murmurs, looking a bit confused.

'I like this stuff,' Will says, staring pensively into his pint glass.

Gwaine gave him a derisive look and stood up, 'I'm gunna go chat up those girls over there,' he grins, gesturing over his shoulder, 'fancy being my wing-man Arthur?'

'Er,' Arthur says shooting an involuntary glance in Gwen's direction. His gaze lingers a little too long on her lips as she chastises Morgana for inviting along Lancelot and the guys. 'Actually I'm ok mate,' Arthur elaborates, his eyes flicking back to Gwen, 'good luck though.'

'I don't need luck' Gwaine scoffs, 'I have good old fashioned Irish charm,' he adds with a wink.

Once Gwaine has sauntered off to terrorise the pretty redhead and the leggy blonde in the corner- both of whom look to be at least five years older than him- I turn to Arthur.

'Who's Lance?'

'He's Gwen's gentleman caller,' Morgana interjects with a smirk.

'Here in the twenty-first century we call that a stalker Morgana,' Arthur responds smoothly.

I notice Gwen's lips twitch slightly, but she refuses to indulge Arthur to the point of a smile.

Instead she turns to me and says levelly, 'Lance is the captain of the school's football team and in the year above us.'

'Oh ok.'

'And he's gorgeous,' Morgana adds with a grin.

'If you're so crazy about him, you go out with him,' Arthur says.

'He's so in love with Gwen he wouldn't even look twice at me,' Morgana replies with the first genuine smile I had seen from her, 'not that I blame him' she continues, giving her friend a conspiratorial nudge with her elbow.

Gwen's face is on fire as she says defiantly, 'he is not in love with me, he doesn't even know me.'

'Have you never heard of love at first sight?' Morgana asks exasperatedly.

'Yes,' Gwen reasons, 'but you are supposed to actually get to know someone you're interested in.'

I don't miss the look in Arthur's eyes stating clearly that he has just made a mental note of that information and stuck a giant, yellow, mental post-it on it.

'Anyway that's enough about my fictional love-life,' Gwen says, clearing her throat and clearly uncomfortable.

'So there's nothing going on between you and Lance?' Arthur asks before he can stop himself, or I can give him a swift kick him under the table.

Gwen gives him a curious look and is just about to respond when the pub door opens with a gust of cold air.

'Lance!' Morgana exclaims, getting to her feet and rushing over to the gaggle of teenage boys, 'thank god you're here, I was about ready to die of boredom' she adds, placing a swift kiss on both cheeks of the guy whom I guess is Lance. However his attention is not on her, but somewhere over her head. I follow his gaze and there, sure enough is Gwen.

'Hey, Gwen,' he says with a wide smile.

'Oh,' she mumbles, giving him a small wave, 'hi.'

Lance slides into the booth beside Gwen and I feel Arthur's whole body stiffen beside me.

'It's so nice to see you again Gwen,' Lance says, taking her hand and raising it to his lips, 'our paths don't seem to cross nearly enough for my liking.'

'Right,' she replies, pulling her hand from his grasp before saying pointedly, 'Lance have you met Merlin.'

The guy gives me a half second glance.

'No I don't think so.'

'Well he is new in school and he's a really nice guy.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you Merlin,' he says with a polite smile, 'any friend of Gwen's is a friend of mine.'

'So you guys are an item?' I ask, a little confused.

'Sorta'

'No,' Gwen says firmly at the exact same time.

'Well, technically no, but that's only because she's so stubborn,' he says fondly as he puts his arm around her.

'Guinevere, I am getting in the next round of drinks, could you maybe give me a hand?' Arthur asks in a rush.

Gwen gives him a surprised look which is swiftly followed by a 'sure,' accompanied by an appreciate smile.

'Pendragon, do you seriously think you'll get served? You're only seventeen, right?'

'Er, yeah,' Arthur says nervously.

'Why don't you just let me get the drinks, Pendragon?' Lance grins.

Arthur looks at him blankly.

'We'll be fine,' Gwen says firmly.

I watch as Gwen and Arthur move over to the bar and Arthur attempts to get the attention of the barman.

'So how did you find your first day?' Lance asks.

'The kids here aren't exactly what I'm used to,' I say, 'though it might be more appropriate to say I'm not exactly what they're used to,' I add with a grin.

'Well you didn't exactly make it easy for yourself,' he says, 'making friends with Pendragon, I mean.'

'I've never liked doing things the easy way,' I reply, my eyes on the bar where Arthur and Gwen are talking. Arthur is wearing a smile worthy of the Cheshire cat and Gwen is looking happier than she has all evening- although that's not saying an awful lot.

'But I can't imagine Arthur's exactly welcomed you into the fold?' Lance continues.

'Not exactly, no,' I say uncertainly, 'but he is a good guy underneath it all. I genuinely believe that.'

'And what possible foundation could you have for thinking that Arthur Pendragon is anything more than a prattish loser?'

My eyes flicker over Gwen and Arthur.

'I'm just guessing,' I say with a half smile.

'Ok mate,' Lance says, raising his hands in defeat, 'all I'm saying is that Gwen already seems to be warming to you. If you focus on making friends with her and her friends then the next two years of your life might be pretty good. Stick with Arthur and you'll probably want to jump off the top of a multi-storey car park by Christmas.'

'I'll take my chances,' I reply with a grin.

'You don't wanna jump off a building Merls,' Will says dozily. He pauses, as if for thought, before coming to his conclusion, 'yeah, you definitely don't wanna do that, you'd make a right mess on the pavement.'

'Thanks Will.'

'No problem,' he says with a toothy grin, before sinking back into his own, impenetrable little world.

I cast a glance over to the bar just in time to see an outraged looking Gwen arguing with a very defensive looking Arthur. They exchange a few more words before Gwen picks up her drink and stalks off towards Morgana and the assembled football squad. Arthur watches her go with a fierce scowl on his face.

'I've got to go,' I say as I get to my feet, 'bathroom,' I add vaguely, gesturing in the direction of the gents.

As I pass the bar I grab Arthur by the hood of his jacket. He splutters in indignation as I drag him away from everyone else.

'What happened?' I ask, releasing him.

'Nothing,' he replies like a sulking child.

'What did you say to her?'

'It wasn't my fault.'

'What did you say?'

'She blew the whole thing way out of proportion.'

'Arthur?' I say, in a non-nonsense kind of voice- the kind my mum had always employed on me as a child, when she found the biscuit tin empty and crumbs on my face.

'She may have possibly, sort of got the impression that maybe I think she wears tops that are a little bit too revealing,' he says tentatively.

'And where would she have got an idea like that?'

'Because I might, possibly, maybe have said something a little bit like that.'

'You what?' I exclaim.

'It wasn't my fault!' Arthur shouts back.

'How is this not your fault?'

'Well I asked her if it bothered her, guys like Lance drooling over her, I mean. And she said she wasn't the kind of girl who really enjoys that much male attention. And I said she doesn't do enough to stop it…' he trails off.

'And?'

'And she asked what I meant.'

'So?'

'So I said needed to be less nice to these guys and perhaps it wouldn't be a bad idea for her to wear less low-cut tops occasionally,' Arthur says, with an attempt at nonchalance, but his adam's apple, bobbing nervously in his throat, like a cork in water, gives him away.

'You did not?' I exclaim.

'I did,' Arthur says, folding his arm defensively across his chest.

'You moron.'

'Shut up Merlin!'

'I leave you alone with Gwen for two minutes and you go and say something like that. Were Gwaine and Will just making up the stuff about you being interested in her? Were you serious when you said you didn't like her? I thought it was just a cover, but now I'm not so sure…'

Arthur's face is on fire by the time I finish speaking. My answer is right there in the flush of his cheeks.

'Why can't you just admit it?'

'What would be the point?' Arthur says with a shrug, 'nothing will ever happen between us. She's the most popular girl in school, she has every boy there lining up to date her, I can't compete with those guys, guys like Lance. She's my step-sister's best friend, my step-sister who would probably get her boyfriend to kick the shit out of me if she had any idea that I have a thing for Gwen. And to top it all off I can't even have a decent conversation with her, my brain turns to mush and verbal diahorrea every time we are within three feet of each other.'

'You sound like you've given up already?'

'Two years, Merlin, two years I've spent not giving up on her. I should just face facts; we are from two totally different worlds.'

'You go to the same friggin' school,' I say in exasperation.

'You know what I mean.'

'Arthur, if you like Gwen enough and if she likes you- or gets to like you,' I amend swiftly, 'then the popularity thing won't matter, Gwen isn't the kind of girl who would let a thing like that get in the way and the Morgana stuff, well I don't reckon she would mind, she seems to care about Gwen. It that is the case she will want her to be happy. And the verbal diahorrea thing, that we can work on,' I say with a wide grin, feeling something like a fairy godmother.

Arthur gives me a forced smile, and mumbles something like 'thanks' before his countenance shifts, 'but tell anyone about this Emrys, I swear, and I will make Camelot High a living hell for you, I mean it.'

I am just thinking how exactly to respond to this when a tall man in dark clothing, with an earpiece in, says in a gruff, gravelly voice, 'boys, I wanna see some I.D.'

'Er,' we both say as we search our pockets for the non-existent I.D.

'I seem to have left my driving licence at home,' Arthur says with a stab at nonchalance.

'Out!'

'But-'

'If your arse isn't out that door in five seconds I am calling up the head at Camelot High and will report the pair of you.'

'Fine,' Arthur grumbles as we make a hasty exit.

We stumble out into the cool night air and into Will and Gwaine.

'Did you get thrown out too?'

'No,' Will says, 'there was just a nice guy who asked if I was eighteen, I said no, and he asked me to leave. Suppose he must have wanted the table.'

Arthur rolls his eyes.

'And you Gwaine?'

'The bar staff threw me out because apparently the redhead complained about my good old fashioned Irish charm, though I'm betting she was just playing hard to get. All the older women are like that.'

'Right,' Arthur says, looking decidedly unimpressed.

'I still had a pretty good night though,' I say, blowing on my hands to keep them warm.

'Not too shabby,' Gwaine agrees.

'The best,' Will says, starry-eyed as he sways on the spot.

And Arthur just looks at the pub window, through which he can see the top of Gwen's head, her curls making her stand out even at this distance.

'It has certainly given me stuff to think about,' Arthur says, half to himself.

'Like what?' Will asks, as we begin to meander our way out of the pub car park.

'Stuff,' Arthur shrugs.

'Like-' Will starts to say, but he seems to lose the thread of his thought as he staggers into someone's garden fence, clinging onto it for dear life.

'Will, let go of the fence,' I say reasonably when he refuses to move after two minutes.

'I can't,' Will assures me vehemently.

'Come on mate,' Gwaine tries to coax him, as he hops up and down to ward off the cold.

'No.'

'William, let go of that fence this instant!'

We all turn to stare at Arthur in unison, including Will, who has stopped clinging to the fence now.

'Let's get you home,' Arthur says much more gently this time and he wraps one arm around Will's waist and places the other boy's arm around his shoulder.

'Am I flying?' Will asks, looking around him in bemusement.

'Nope, just smashed,' Arthur murmurs, shooting me a furtive grin.

A/N: Just wanted to say thanks for reading and Happy Christmas/ Festive season to all of you! Hope you have a great time :D


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